


How Jane Finds Clarity

by ExhaustedSunflower



Series: There is a reason for every little thing we do [6]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:53:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25454995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExhaustedSunflower/pseuds/ExhaustedSunflower
Summary: Jane is quiet, and opinionated. Also a bit angry.The others expected Jane to be as quiet as, say, Cathy is. But she’s not. She’s relatively quiet, but it’s just her nature. She is not afraid. She was never afraid, really.She feels so sure of everything now. Even more so than five hundred years ago. Sometimes clarity is a curse.
Series: There is a reason for every little thing we do [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814929
Comments: 75
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jane is up! This one is a little bit different than what you’d expect from a Jane character study, so keep an open mind please.

Unlike what everyone may have thought upon reincarnation, Jane does not hate Anne. She doesn’t hate Anne, and she doesn’t hate Anna either, for that matter. But that’s not what she’s thinking about now. 

She doesn’t hate Anne, just like Anne doesn’t hate Catalina. It is not lost on her that the two did the same thing to become queen in their past lives. Anne started off as a mistress, and so did Jane. Anne was lusted after by Henry as a lady in waiting, so was Jane. Anne convinced Henry to marry her, and so did Jane. Anne spared no kind thought to her successor until it was too late, and neither did Jane. Anne got pregnant with the king’s baby, and so did Jane.

Anne had a baby girl, Jane had a baby boy. That is the only difference.

The difference between the temptress and the devoted wife. Between the flirt and the kind soul. Between the witch and the purest woman in the whole kingdom. The queen that was hated by an entire country, and the queen the king truly loved. The difference is the gender of their babies, and nothing more. They both even died as a result of their births, an ‘illegitimate’ heir based on gender causing the death of one, and a legitimate heir based on gender causing the death of another. None of the history books frame it like this though. 

No, they make it seem as though Anne knew what she was doing. A woman from a power hungry family climbing the nobility ranks her whole life until she finally became queen. And they say that Jane fell in love with Henry, that she wanted nothing more than to be his wife, to be a mother. 

Jane wanted nothing more than to be queen.

She thought- no, she  _ knew _ , that she would be a better queen than Anne Boleyn. She knew she’d be a better successor than Anne to continue the work Catherine of Aragon had started. She wanted to be better, but in reality she was the same. The  _ exact  _ same. 

Jane knew what she was doing. A woman from a power hungry family climbing the nobility ranks her whole life until finally she became queen. Sound familiar?

They are so similar, and that is why they don’t get along. 

“Jane, I’m literally doing it right now.”

“But I asked you to do it three days ago!”

“Well it’s getting done! Leave me alone!”

Before she can respond, Kitty intervenes.

“Guys! It’s fine. Jane, she’s doing it, at least. Anne, dear, please just listen next time? She did ask you to do it three days ago.”

They both reluctantly nod at the mediator. Kitty knows best. They know to listen to her, she’s never steered them wrong before.

The reason they were even arguing in the first place is honestly pretty petty on both their parts. Jane asked Anne to move her shoes from the closet downstairs three days ago. Not all of them, just the ones she doesn’t wear often so that there’s more room in the closet.  _ Three days ago. _ She’d asked, and Anne said she would, but she hasn’t until today, when Catalina asked her to do it herself. Anne said okay, and actually did it. Jane is a little too angry about it to be justified. At least it’s getting done, like Kitty said.

She knows Anne didn’t do it because it was Jane who had asked. Admittedly if Jane was asked by Anne to do something similar she would also be petty enough to say okay and then just not do it. It’s how they work. They don’t hate each other. (At least, they say they don’t.) But they do not get along.

Anne is loud, and opinionated. And angry.

Jane, on the other hand, is quiet, and opinionated. Also a bit angry.

The others expected Jane to be as quiet as, say, Cathy is. But she’s not. She’s relatively quiet, but it’s just her nature. She is not afraid. She was never afraid, really.

She was afraid two times in her first life. The first after hearing that Anne was sentenced to beheading. She didn’t know that was going to happen, it happened so quickly that she couldn’t change the outcome if she tried. The second when she was giving birth to her baby. She wasn’t afraid of the pain, nor of dying. She was afraid that the baby would be a girl. She was afraid it was all for nothing, and that her baby would be a disappointment to Henry. That she might suffer the same fate as Anne if she had a girl and lived to see her. 

She had a baby boy, thank God. Then she tragically died. According to history she died a model wife and an adoring mother. (Though she hadn’t been able to prove her worth as a mother. It was just assumed so since she had the correctly gendered child.) But nonetheless, she did die.

And then she woke up. 

Thus she was afraid for a third, and also technically the first, time. She was afraid because she just  _ died _ . And then she was just,  _ not dead _ . And in a place she did not recognize, with people she hardly knew. At least they were in the same boat though, and being afraid never got her anywhere in life. So she returned every glare with her own. She ventured into this new world with vigor, with bravery few of the other queens had. And she tried to hate Anne Boleyn as much as the woman hated her back. But she really couldn’t, she’d be a hypocrite for calling Anne a whore, or a temptress, because Jane was technically those things herself. She settled on not getting along with the woman, and Anne agreed that this was probably best.

_ (“Listen, I can’t hate you.” _

_ Anne looked at her, a bit thrown. They’d been arguing, and Jane was not putting in her usual effort.  _

_ “What?” _

_ “I can’t hate you. I don’t like you, but I really can’t hate you.” _

_ Where had this come from? _

_ “Truce, then?” Jane continues after a stretch of silence. _

_ “I don’t like you either.” _

_ “Do you hate me?” _

_ Anne has to think about this. She can’t blame Jane for doing what she did to become queen. Anne had done the same thing. It’d be hypocrisy. Neither of them had known what would happen when they were doing it. _

_ Jane didn’t know Anne would be killed, she had every reason to believe that Anne would just be sent away. Like Aragon. _

_ “I don’t believe so.” _

_ “Then we have a tentative truce.”Jane responds. _

_ Anne nods, they are not friends, but they decidedly do not hate each other. _

_ “It seems we do.”) _

There is clarity in this new life. In her past life Jane thought she was observant, thought she knew better than anyone before her. She was arrogant. But now Jane for sure knows a lot of things. She knows she doesn’t hate anyone in this household. She knows she doesn’t particularly like Anne. She knows she is now friends with Anna. She knows that the queens are a family. Past anger and all. 

She knows she did not love Henry Tudor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane knows she never loved Henry, so why did she need him to love her so badly?

**Stockholm Syndrome**

_ Feelings of trust or affection felt in many cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor. _

_ Related searches:  _

_ Is Stockholm Syndrome real love? _

_ Stockholm Syndrome in marriage. _

_ What is Trauma Bonding? _

  
  


Cathy is not the only queen who uses the laptop to find answers to help herself. They’ve all done it at some point. Admittedly Jane could use Cathy’s help though, the woman is fairly better than her at cultivating resources. But Jane isn’t ready to talk about this with the others quite yet.

  
  


**Stockholm Syndrome in marriage**

_ Related searches: _

_ Trauma Bonding _

_ What is Trauma Bonding with a narcissist? _

  
  


What is trauma bonding actually? It’s popped up with nearly every search she’s done today.

  
  


**Trauma Bonding**

_ Traumatic bonding occurs as the result of ongoing cycles of abuse in which the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment creates powerful emotional bonds that are resistant to change. _

**What is Trauma Bonding with a narcissist?**

_ With “Narcissistic Trauma Bonding,” you are initially showered with intense love and approval. It is like a fantasy come true. ... You are now addicted to this person's approval and only desire their love and no one else's. You know you should stop, but you do not have the willpower to do so on your own. _

  
  


Fuck.

-

Okay, to be clear, Jane did not love Henry. She had no feelings of even  _ like _ for him. She tried to though. She’d thought it’d be easier to be a dutiful wife and queen if she tried to love him. Anne hadn’t loved Henry, Jane could. She wanted to be the perfect wife and subsequently the perfect queen. She made her queenly motto  _ Bound to obey and serve _ for the purpose of appealing to what Henry wanted from his queen. Not to say she wasn’t happy to help others though. On the contrary, she actually was fairly sympathetic and held people’s emotions and well being at a high regard. Jane was gentle and held herself with grace and love. She wasn’t as well educated as the first two, but she was well ordained in household affairs; she had waited her whole life for the opportunity to be a good wife.

Being a good wife to Henry was difficult. 

Not because she didn’t know what to do as a wife, no, she knew what a wife was supposed to do. A wife bears children, a wife puts her husband above all else, a wife holds herself with dignity, a wife will keep everything in order. The thing with Henry is that he always wanted something different. One day he was happy that she kept out of his affairs, then next he complained that she was stupid. Sometimes he admired she did cleaning on her own, and other times he was upset at her for not putting herself above the staff, as if he wasn’t happy just the day before that she was humble enough not to. It was enough to give someone whiplash, truly.

She tried so hard to convince herself to love him. If she loved him it would all be okay. She could love him and he would love her as much as he claimed to. She wouldn’t mess up as much because she was what he wanted. Henry wanted above all else a family. A dutiful wife and a son. 

She tried to be what he wanted. She brought Mary back into her father's life. She’d missed the girl, poor thing losing her mother and her father and even her religion. She even made a place for Elizabeth in their lives even though she’d been the cause of her mother’s death. (Something that weighs in her soul. She hadn’t meant for Anne to die.) Jane made sure that she would have a child too, hopefully a son. 

He wanted Jane to be smarter. She educated herself as best she could, she could read and write a bit. She even tried to involve herself in his court a bit more. She’d stopped doing that after he reminded her of her predecessors fate, though. (The Pilgrimage of Grace was something she was sympathetic to. Henry did not see the love in her heart that day, did not see her as trying to be a good queen, he saw her as an insubordinate. It was horrible.) She was no Catherine of Aragon, she could not fight him on that. She’d seen what happened to strong women in this position. 

Every time she did something he liked, she got rewards. An emerald for decoration, a diamond necklace, gold laced dresses, anything you could possibly imagine. He’d praise her in all the best ways, saying she is beautiful, the best of wives, with an incredible heart and the purest soul. He’d be romantic and sit with her on a balcony with the best view in the palace or in the brightly colored garden with a bottle of wine and they’d talk for hours of what they’d do when they have a son. Those were the times Jane nearly convinced herself she loved him. Nearly thought he loved her.

When she disappointed, he was cruel. The man had a temper and a title, a dangerous combination. He’d hit her sometimes, but it was mainly his words. He’d be cold and distant, say things that had double meanings, even outright insult her. But knowing that he could be good, that she could make him happy, gave her motivation to seek approval. It didn’t matter anymore what everyone else thought, she was Henry’s wife. She’d do anything to make him happy with her. Whatever he said or thought was more important than anything. And since this was her thinking, she was able to pretend she loved him. Jane thinks this is why she was his favorite wife.

While he was using rewards or punishments based on what she did, he created a dynamic Jane was not prepared for. She’d been manipulating him this whole time, as she’d been taught her whole life by her family, then suddenly she was being manipulated. 

She didn't make this connection until after reincarnation. She knows so much now. Five hundred years really puts some things into perspective. But maybe none of that would have been necessary if they actually loved each other. They could have been the perfect marriage, they  _ should  _ have been the perfect marriage. She was everything he wanted, and she got what she wanted. But she could not love him. And she knows that he only loved her son, not her. If she’d stayed alive longer maybe she could’ve made it happen. (Or maybe she would have been beheaded after a while, that was always an option.) Loving him might have made it easier.

She had sort of succeeded though, it did give her some sort of satisfaction that he was buried with her of all the queens. Jane went down in history as the one he truly loved, she had a son. She did what she wanted to do. So why does she still feel like she needs more? It's a familiar feeling, one she felt all the time when she was queen. She craved validation from her husband to the point she was blind to what others might have thought of her. Thankfully at the time that was the ultimate goal for a wife. Now though, it seems it’s wrong. 

_ Trauma Bonding.  _ The term applies to her thoughts and her past self’s tendencies. It’s quite scary to even think about, that what she thought was her wifely duties were actually contributions to her trauma. She’d have to talk to Marie about this.

Maybe she’s just overreacting and self diagnosing herself for nothing though, no need to mention it to the others just yet. Let them all think she loves him. It feels good to know she has that validation from Henry, though he is long dead. They still have their love, even if it wasn’t real to begin with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just gonna start giving you all life updates in the notes, since you replied and talked with me about the kittens. I bought a mattress pad and it’s very exciting because my bed is like a rock oh my god my back has been suffering. 
> 
> Anyways, I was gonna post this yesterday, but I didn’t think it fully came out the way I intended. So I had to do some major editing. Anyways, I hope you liked this! If there’s anything you wanted to see from Jane’s part of the series let me know! I love comments so leave some!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short. But it’s kinda sweet.

_ Help. She needs help. She’s running through hall after hall in this place and they all look the same. Has she gone in circles? Has she made any progress at all? She feels like she’s continuously running through the same hall over and over.  _

_ The door on the right is locked. So are the two on the left. Next right turn she’s in an identical hall with one door on the right and two on the left. She tries the one on the right, locked. The two on the left are as well. She turns into another hall. How long has she been doing this? What is she running from? She doesn’t know, but she can’t help but feel like if she stops something terrible will happen to her.  _

_ Jane feels herself begin to slow. She’s running out of energy, she can’t keep this up. She looks down at her feet only to not be able to see them. Her stomach is in the way, she hadn’t known she was pregnant. How long has she been pregnant? Has it been this whole time?  _

The shock of seeing her baby bump is enough to fully wake her. She jolts up, heart racing and out of breath. She’s sweating too, it’s as if she actually was running. She takes a bit to figure out her breathing again.  _ In and out, just like the technique Cathy taught you. _ It takes a while, but eventually she’s able to think properly and able to breathe without gasping for air. She doesn’t have nightmares as often as some of the other queens in the house. She isn’t afraid to sleep, like Cathy; or upset all night after her bad dreams like Kitty. She doesn’t even have them as often as Lina, her newfound best friend in this life. But she does have nightmares, and when she does she needs some comfort, though it’d taken a while to learn how to let the others help.

Jane gets out of bed as Catalina crosses her mind. She has a similar deal made with the woman as Cathy does. If she has a nightmare she’ll go to someone, preferably Catalina herself. This started as a favor since Jane had helped Lina through a particularly bad night, Jane said she’d go to Lina so she could help her as thanks. (Not that she’d needed thanks, she was perfectly happy to have been able to help.) She’s gone to all the queens for comfort besides Anne, though Anne has said her door is open if needed. Cathy and Kitty go to Anne most nights if not Lina, but Jane can’t do that. She’d appreciated the offer though.

As she reaches Catalina’s door it’s cracked open, as always. She doesn’t even knock, they don’t do that anymore, she just goes right over to the bed and slides under the covers next to Lina. As soon as she does that she’s pulled close to the woman, right into her chest, and she feels herself relax as she listens to Lina’s heartbeat.

“Sleep, mija.” 

The voice is low and calm. It soothes all of Jane’s left over nerves from her dream. This is the routine, she wakes up panicked, moves to someone else’s bed, goes back to sleep calmer, not alone. It’s a good routine, she doesn’t need to explain, or ask for anything. The others just always  _ know _ . It takes a lot of pressure she isn’t even aware is there off of her brain. Jane feels her eyes begin to close. Her heart rate slows once again.

“Okay.” 

And she sleeps through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all deserve something nice because I keep giving you sad stuff. Here you go.
> 
> The mattress pad worked wonders btw my god.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is very dialogue heavy. You all wanted to see a one on one therapy session, so here you go!

“Do you think I had Stockholm Syndrome?”

Her therapist, Marie, looks back at her mildly shocked. Jane never wants to talk about her past life in much detail. Marie had been okay with that, saying that they’d get there in time.

“I feel I don’t know enough about past you to answer that question. Remember how we talked about how you feel past you and present you are completely different people?”

Jane nods, “Yes. But based on what you do know, what do you think?”

“What brought this question on?”

Jane thinks back to a conversation she saw on twitter. The thread was ‘proof’ that she’d been a victim of Stockholm Syndrome. Jane knows better than to listen to one person on twitter though, so she’d done enormous amounts of research before deciding to ask Marie.

“I’ve been doing some research,- don’t look at me like that, at least I’m consulting with you instead of diagnosing myself- and some of the symptoms apply to me. Trauma Bonding in specific.”

Marie looks interested when she hears the words Trauma Bonding; Jane decides that maybe that’s a better avenue to go down. 

“I looked up Trauma Bonding, specifically Trauma Bonding with a narcissist, and a lot of what is said in regards to that apply to my mental state at the time.”

“Did you love him?”

Jane’s knee jerk reaction is yes, she did. Marie asks if she's sure, tells her to think about it.

After a bit of hesitation from Jane and patience from Marie, Jane finally comes to terms with saying it out loud.

“I,” She swallows before continuing again, “I don’t think I did.”

She waits for a reaction, but Marie just nods back, like she hasn’t said something life altering. Holding her breath, she realizes that the sky hasn’t fallen, the world is continuing. Nothing bad has happened to her for admitting this out loud.

“That’s okay. What  _ did  _ you feel for him?”

That is quite the question.

“I wanted to love him, and I wanted him to love me.”

“Why?”

“... I don’t know.”

“Jane,” Marie looks a little disbelieving. 

Jane thinks about her answer for a bit. “I think at first it was fear, and a bit of arrogance. A weird mix, I know. But I needed him to be happy with me or he’d kill me. But I also fully believed that I was better than Anne.”

“Do you still think you’re better than Anne?”

“No!” The word is out of her mouth before she even fully registered the question. That hadn’t even crossed her mind since she reincarnated. Of course she doesn’t think she’s better than Anne. 

“I don’t even still think I  _ was _ better than Anne. I’m not, I’m the same. We are equal.”

“What changed then?”

What did change?

“I mean, I woke up in a completely different century. I don’t have to hate her for the sake of my life anymore. I know better now, and there’s no Henry to impress.” She lists off things that have changed the way she thinks of Anne.

Marie contemplates the answer for a moment, and Jane suddenly feels self conscious. What if that was somehow the wrong answer? Jane hates in depth emotional conversations with the others being the one’s in distress. When Jane is the topic of discussion she’s even worse though. She goes through the entire conversation in her head, trying to figure out how to fix whatever it is she may have said wrong.

But then Marie speaks, and Jane is thrown off once more.

“What about the others? What do you feel about the others?”

What in God's name does that have to do with anything at all?

“I don’t think I’m better than anyone.”

“Do you still feel a sense of family with them?” 

“What’s with all the questions? You normally give me advice.” She feels like she’s being interrogated right now.

“Just trying to gage where you are in coming to terms with past you versus present you.” Marie says it like it makes sense. As if it justifies how off track they’ve gotten.

“Do you think I had Stockholm Syndrome?” She gets back to the root of the conversation.

“Based on the information I have, maybe. There are definitely some Trauma Bonds to be discussed. Again though, I can only diagnose you now.”

“Well what do you think of me now?” 

“I‘ve told you this, you have trauma you’re holding on to. Signs of PTSD. But you’re making great progress. Your bonds with the other queens seem to me to be helpful in breaking said Trauma Bonds. Mostly because you don’t have to deal with the aftermath of Henry being upset with you. You’re more aware of your affect on your bonds with other people. Now would you like to answer my question?”

Jane sinks back into her chair a bit. She looks around the study, where they’ve been having these sessions, in thought. 

“I’d say that’s fair. I do feel a sense of family with them.”

The timer on Marie’s phone goes off, and that signals the end of the session. Marie looks at her calmly, “Would you like to continue this conversation? We can.” She offers.

Jane declines, “It wouldn’t be fair to Cathy, she’s been looking forward to this all week.” She says that last bit with a chuckle. The sarcasm in her tone was not missed by Marie. The therapist laughs, clearly unoffended by Cathy’s aversion to confronting her problems. The queens, upon finding out how much Cathy was really struggling and not utilizing her therapy properly, had taken it upon themselves to tell Marie during a group session and encourage Cathy to speak up.

  
  


Jane stands, thanking Marie. She goes to leave, passing by a very unenthusiastic but still pleasant enough Cathy. As she walks away she hears the two exchange greetings. Jane laughs again, because Cathy has already said hello to the woman. She’s stalling.

Then she hears Marie, enthusiastic as ever, “Let’s get into it then!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keeping with the soft theme, we’ll start off with something cute.

“Jane!” 

Jane whips around, not having expected someone to call her name so loudly. She is met with Anna and Cathy, both barely concealing their grins.

“Yeah?”

“We have a surprise for you.” Anna says.

Cathy nods, she looks so  _ excited. _ Jane can’t remember the last time she saw this amount of pure joy on her face. So even though she doesn’t particularly like surprises, (She likes to know exactly what’s coming at any given time. Too many things have been surprising and deadly to her.) she looks at them with a small smile and feigns curiosity.

“Really now?”

She looks behind them to see Catalina watching with amused interest. Clearly she knows something that Jane doesn’t. Catalina nods assuringly at her, so that calms her nerves a bit. Just a bit.

“Yes! Come with us!” Anna grabs Jane’s hand and pulls her into the kitchen, where there’s a box on the table. Anne and Kitty are sitting there, seemingly just as confused as Jane. This does not comfort her. What is in that box?

“Open it!” Cathy says enthusiastically. It’s kind of funny how even when Cathy is excited Jane can barely hear what she says. 

Jane decides to mess with them a bit, “Sorry?” 

“She said open it!”

“Open what?”

Anna’s about to exclaim her impatience even louder, but Cathy beats her to it. Another surprise.

“ _ Jane! _ Please open the box. We’ve been waiting like two and a half weeks.” 

Jane relents at that. Cathy isn’t normally one to be impatient with the others.

“Fine, fine. I’ll open the box.” She steps closer to the box hesitantly. Only after being assured whatever it is won’t jump out and kill her, she opens it. There’s a bit of plastic wrap to get through, but when she sees the contents of the box she can’t help the pleasant laughter that comes out.

It’s several little white silicone cats.

“What is it?” She hears Kitty ask.

She pulls one out, still laughing to show her. Kitty looks even more confused now. But she has to admit they’re cute. 

“They’re nightlights! Because I always turn the hall light and the bathroom light off and I know you don’t like walking in the dark.”

“And I wanted to make it up to you for when you embroidered my blanket. We bought one for the hall and one for each room upstairs.” Anna adds.

Jane laughs again. They’re so cute!

Anne immediately names one after their kitten, Queen Bea. “We can call it Queenie, Like how we call the kitten Bea.”

Jane nods, that makes sense. Kitty starts to help, then suddenly all of the nightlights have names written on the bottoms of them.

_ Queenie, Kitty (After Katherine), Catty (After Catalina), Cat-thy (After Cathy, much to her dismay), Surfo, Jacob, Lindsey,  _ and  _ Kuzco.  _ They place one on the banister in the hall, one in each bedroom, and one in the bathroom. They’re Jane’s new favorite modern invention. (It used to be Velcro.)

-

Another night, another nightmare. As is the way of life in this house. Though this is a bit unusual because Jane has had one the past two nights before this, and she doesn’t normally have three consecutively. She sits up, ready to go to someone else’s room. She stops to gaze at her nightlight with a tired smile. It really is adorable. (She has Kuzco on her desk, the name had been her suggestion.) 

On her way out of bed she thinks she’d like to go to Cathy tonight, the woman tends to be very warm. But she sees Cathy walk into Catalina’s room through her open door. Kitty follows not even a minute after. 

_ Okay, no Cathy, not Catalina, and Kitty is out too. _ She knows Catalina wouldn’t mind her joining them, but she doesn’t want to intrude on that. Those three have something special.

Maybe Anna, then. She walks through her door, making sure to stop and spare a smile towards Queenie the nightlight at the top of the stairs, and walks down the hall. When she gets to Anna, her door is open. But she’s wrapped in her red blanket and curled up with Bea as if she’d fallen asleep crying. Jane makes a mental note to check in on Anna tomorrow morning. Deciding not to bother Anna tonight, she turns back around to make her way back to her own bed. Surely she can handle one night on her own. Sleep might take a bit, but it would be good practice to fall back asleep on her own. Just in case the others aren’t always around.

“Jane?” A soft voice calls her. She stops and turns, she was passing by Anne’s room. Her door is open as well, and she’s looking out worriedly.

“Are you okay?”

Jane hesitates, before deciding nothing bad will happen if she’s honest.

“I had a nightmare.” She admits.

Anne stands and walks over to her, “Is everyone else busy? I know I saw Cath and Kit walk past too.”

“They’re with Lina, and Anna is asleep. I didn’t wanna wake her.”

“Do you wanna come in here?” She’s never done that before. She only goes into Anne's room if she’s having a rather violent nightmare herself. And even then, Jane stays back knowing that the last thing Anne would want to see is the reason she even has those dreams.

“You really don’t have to-“

“Jane, I want to. You’re still crying. I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight if I don’t try to help anyways.”

There’s another reason she doesn’t wanna talk to Anne about what’s wrong, it might even be a part of the reason she didn’t go into Lina’s room. She’d been back at Anne’s beheading in her dream. She saw it vividly. Her guilt and terror when the blade hit was enough to wake Jane in a panic.

“We can just lay down if you want. We don’t even have to talk. I can also offer a hug or a run down to the kitchen for a piece of cake.” Despite herself, Jane laughs at the offer. 

“Can we just sit for a while?” She asks timidly.

“Of course, Surfo will be happy to see you.” Anne replies, succeeding in making Jane laugh once again. She says ‘Hi’ to Surfo on the way through the room.

They sit on Anne’s bed, Anne on the outside, Jane by the wall, sitting up against the headboard. They settle into a silence.

Jane thinks about her dream again. She wanted to take it all back. Now she doesn’t care about anything that happened in her last life. None of the things she achieved even matter. She was always going to be known as the one the king truly loved, she was always going to be known as Edward’s mother. She won’t be known as herself, or for her compassion. She’s known as Anne’s successor. The one who got her killed.

“What are you thinking about?” She startles a bit at the voice, prompting Anne to apologize.

“It’s fine.  _ I’m _ sorry.”

Anne looks back confused for a moment, then a look of realization crosses her face. 

“Oh. Jane, I know.”  _ She knows, she doesn’t forgive me.  _ Her tears fall harder.

“C’mere” She’s pulled into a hug, her shaking body held up by Anne.

“Jane, I’m working on it. I promise I want to forgive you.”

“Why?”

“ _ Why? _ ” Anne questions back, astounded at the audacity of the question.

“Because you deserve it-“

“No I don’t-“

“ _ Yes, _ you do.” She says stubbornly. “You had no idea that was going to happen.”

“But I still caused it!” 

“But you were horrified when you found out! You didn’t want me to die. You had every reason to believe I’d be sent away. I’m serious, Jane, you deserve to be forgiven. I just can’t do it right now. But I have been working on it.”

“I got you beheaded.”

“By accident. You didn’t want Henry either. You were forced too. You died too.”

Jane stares back at her wide eyed. She didn’t tell Anne she was forced by her family to become Henry’s wife. It was a power play for becoming queen, but still she became a wife.

“How did you…?” She trails off, not sure where to go with this conversation. 

“I was there too. I saw as much of you as you did of me.” That makes sense. 

She did want to be queen though. She wanted to be the one; thought she could handle him. Jane tells Anne this, but Anne just looks back at her softly. 

“That’s okay. I did too. But that doesn’t change the fact that we had no choice. It ended badly for both of us.”

“Worse for you.”

“The way you died is still valid trauma. You know this.”

Jane can’t think of anything to say back, so they sit in silence for a while after that. 

“You know what? I don't think either of us are sleeping tonight. We don’t like each other, remember?” Jane does remember. This is a one time thing.

“So why don’t we go downstairs, watch a movie and eat the rest of Lina’s ice cream?” Anne offers. 

It does sound very tempting. Catalina won’t be as angry about the ice cream if it’s Jane, too.

“That sounds nice. Back to normal in the morning?”

Anne laughs, “Yes, back to normal in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more after this! I’m enjoying this part more than I thought I would. And I added the nightlights!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my take on how Six: The Musical happened in this Sixverse. 
> 
> It’s kinda short. Sorry about that, I haven’t been feeling well so the updates have been slower. But I’m back!

They’re out of wine, and it’s a bit too late to go to the store. At first they were going to postpone wine night, but Kitty insisted that it’d be just as good with tea and snacks. That's how Lina ended up curled up in her armchair with a blanket and her coffee flavored ice cream. (Across the room from Jane, because Jane is a traitor who ate her ice cream with Anne.) Kitty and Anne are snuggled under their own blanket on the couch with two boxes of Fruit By The Foot, Cathy and Anna have the love seat, each with their own blankets, sharing a bowl of popcorn and chocolate bits, Bea the kitten is between them. Jane herself is on the opposite side of the couch of her cousins. She’s got her own blanket and a cookie tin.

Currently, they’re talking crap about Henry. Cathy’s telling a story about when he was old and useless. Far different physically from the Henry she knew, but still Jane recognizes the man through his words.

“And then he had the audacity to say that  _ I  _ was the reason there was no baby! He couldn’t even get it up! There was no way we were having a child. Who knows why he even wanted one from me to begin with? The idiot.”

“Yes Cath! Fucking idiot he was!” 

“Hell yes!”

You’re damn right!”

There are various other enthusiastic replies around the room. Jane included.

“What about you Jane? Have you got anything to say about him?” Catalina asks.

“Well, he was a dick.”

“Ooh, Jane’s getting saucy tonight!”

Anna rolls her eyes, “Shut up Anne.” 

“How do you feel about being the ‘only one he truly loved’?”

“Kitty!”

“What? I’m curious! And she never talks about it!”

It’s Jane’s turn to roll her eyes. But as she looks around, everyone seems to want an answer to that.

“It feels kind of nice; I’m not gonna lie to you. Even more nice knowing I never loved him, and I made that kind of impact by pretending.”

That's not exactly it, but it’s what she’s been trying to tell them for ages. She wants them to know.

“You didn’t love him? Actually, you know what? That makes sense.” Anna works through what was just said.

“No. God no. He was awful. The only reason I went down in history like that is because I had a boy. If Anne had had a boy she would have been ‘the one he truly loved’. Lina too. His love was based on that one thing. He courted out of lust, he married out of infatuation, he killed out of frustration, he loved out of obligation to his sexist beliefs. Screw him and his love.”

Cathy’s face lights up at that, “You don’t need his love! You’re a multifaceted person! You are not just his wife! None of us are.”

The others continue to hype this notion up, and Jane sits in wonder at how easy that was. There was no negative reaction. They understood.

“I just wish the people in this century knew that.” 

Everyone agrees with Jane on this. Too many interviews have been centered around Henry. No one knows who they are beyond that stupid rhyme.

“What if we did something about it though! We could tell the world to stop comparing us!” Kitty proposes. The group look thoughtful 

Anna nods excitedly, “Let's do it as a  _ song _ !”

Surprisingly enough, the others do not hate this idea. They’ve all been brought back with killer musical ability. Either it's a coincidence, or whatever brought them back really enjoys music.

“We could do like a song each? Saying what happened to us, I mean. And then one saying hold up this is not our story. We don’t need Henry as a part of this.”

Everyone absolutely loves Catalina’s idea, and then Jane’s brain comes up with something absolutely genius.

“ _ Let’s do a musical _ . We all love theater! We could write a script!”

“Oh my god Jane that is incredible.”

“Such a good idea!”

“Woah!”

“Yes!”

“Hell yeah!”

They spend the rest of the night thinking about ideas for their show. Maybe good things happen when you admit your feelings to your family. Maybe she should talk to them more in depth about what it meant when she said she didn’t love him. Right now though, she’ll think of what to put in her song. But when she’s ready to talk, Jane knows that they’ll understand. 

There’s a lot of clarity that comes with this new life. One thing Jane knows for certain is that she didn’t love Henry Tudor. Another thing she knows with even more certainty is that she loves her newfound family. She can work through whatever she needs with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s the end! The next one is Anne, which I’m very excited about! I already have so many ideas for that. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! I enjoy comments more than you can possibly imagine, and I try to reply to them all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read the last one, you’ll know my cat just gave birth. She’s okay and the kittens are okay. We named one Chicken and the other Stormy. The moms name is Gypsy, in case anyone was wondering.
> 
> But! Cat birthing aside, let me know what you think! I’m putting out some hot takes in this one so lets discuss them.


End file.
